Paradise
by Trowakun
Summary: Written when I was upset, it was me just getting my emotions out... there isn't really any other reason for it than that. Primary character is Rogue.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they are the property of Marvel. Nor do I own the rights to the song.  
  
Song: Vanessa Carlton - Paradise - Be Not Nobody CD  
  
paradise  
  
In the solace of her room, tears streaked down the young woman's face. Her arms were wrapped around herself as her body shook from continuous sobs. No one was around, so there was no one to notice.not that anyone cared anyways.  
  
once upon a year gone by  
she saw herself give in  
every time she closed her eyes  
she saw what could have been  
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and a gruff voice, asking to come in. But she shook her head and refused to listen. After a moment of no response, the knock came again, harder this time with a threat to take down the door if she didn't respond to let them know she was alright.  
  
She turned her head and blood shot eyes looked at the door. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now, didn't they understand that? Rising, she walked to the window and flung them open, and as steel claws ripped into the door of her room, she floated into the air and flew out the window.  
  
"Not now." she murmured."not now."  
  
well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds  
when covers tucked in tight  
funny when the bottom drops  
how she forgets to fight ... to fight  
  
For hours she flew, she had no clue where she was, she just kept going. "Maybe," her mind thought, "If I just keep going.the pain will go away." And so she kept on flying even when her body screamed out in pain from fatigue. Yet she wouldn't stop, no.she couldn't stop.  
  
and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise  
  
Slowly the tears stopped and her face dried. Exhaustion began to set in as she slowly descended once again to the earth. Landing in a vacant field, she looked around. She had no clue what time it was, then again, she didn't even know what time zone she was in either.  
  
A few feet away a horse snorted and eyed her, unsure of this human who had descended in front of it. She smiled weakly at the animal and then slowly lowered herself to sit on the ground. Tentatively the horse took a step towards her, when she didn't move, he came close enough to sniff her. Smiling weakly, she opened her hand to let the horse sniff it, then petted him gently on the muzzle.  
  
Then, it was as if the gentle giant could sense, or even smell her sadness. Carefully, the horse stepped around her and lay down beside her, offering his warmth. A small tear came to her eye as she leaned against him. Listening to the steady rhythm of the animal's breathing, she closed her eyes and soon drifted off to an exhausted sleep.  
  
as darkness quickly steals the light  
that shined within her eyes  
  
The morning came with a harsh brilliance, attempting to blind any who dare to look at it. She rolled her head over in attempt to block the light, but to no avail. Then suddenly her attention was drawn by the distinctive sound of a shot gun being pumped. "Who be ya'h and whatcha do ta my ho'se?"  
  
Blinking and rubbing her eyes, she sat up away from the animal that had been her comfort through the restless night. "Ah'm so sorry." She shielded her eyes as she looked up at the shadow of a scrawny looking farmer who had a shot gun in his hand. "Ah was just travelin' through last night and got tired.fell asleep." She rose and looked at the man.  
  
The man looked at her, then down at his horse as the horse yawned, stretched and climbed to his feet. Blinking, a bit surprised, he looked back at her, "You one o' them Ho'se whisperers?"  
  
"Ah.umm." she glanced back at the horse as he came up and nuzzled her shoulder. "Ah guess ya'h could say that."  
  
she slowly swallows all her fear  
and soothes her mind with lies  
  
The man had escorted her back to his house where his wife and children were. They were a nice family and she felt a knot tighten in her stomach. 'A nice family' was something she never had, nor would she ever have. But she smiled and was a polite and in return they gave her a wonderful breakfast before she went on her way. She walked a good distance to get out of sight before taking back to the sky.  
  
well all she wants and all she needs  
are reasons to survive  
a day in which the sun will take  
her artificial light ... her light  
  
She viewed the landscape below her and attempted to figure out where she was. Had to be someplace she was somewhat familiar with.after all, they spoke the same language as her.  
  
After a few minutes she realized exactly where she was.her childhood home. She gulped as the knot appeared in her stomach again. How? Why? Was it just instinct that had led her back here? Or was it something more? She brought a hand back to her face and wiped away a tear.  
  
The feeling in her shoulders warned her to quickly descend before the waves of anguish hit again. Glancing down below, she found a clearing beside the river. Slowly she landed and immediately curled up on the ground, her body once again wracked with sobs.  
  
and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise  
it's one more day in paradise  
one last chance to fee alight ... alright  
  
The tears slowly dried and she sat back up, staring out at the river. She watched as the water rippled and waved, crashing against the banks and then sliding on down the way. "Futile." she murmured to herself, "The water tries so hard to get out, yet it can't.it gets dragged along by the river.a set course.can't change its path.its destiny." Sighing she rested her chin on her knees.  
  
"In the long run destiny is nothin' but a choice..." Leaves and twigs crunched as someone approached.  
  
She turned her head quickly to look back, "Logan."  
  
"Ya sound a little surprised, kid." He smiled slightly as she nodded a bit and he sat down next to her, "You certainly aren't an easy one to track."  
  
A smile tugged slightly at the corner of her mouth. It really meant a lot that he'd actually come out looking for her, especially with as far, and as long as she had flown.even if it was partly in circles.  
  
"You see that puddle there?" He pointed at a small puddle that was a good three feet from the rivers edge. She nodded, so he continued. "Those drops of water have already changed their destiny. They ain't gonna go down without a fight. Now they have options of where their gonna go.instead of just down the river, they could soak into the ground, evaporate or somethin' else. Ain't nothin' futile."  
  
"Ah guess you're right, Logan." She smiled weakly and leaned against him.  
  
Logan blinked and looked down at her. She did look exhausted and he thought it amazing she hadn't passed out while flying. With just the smallest of smiles he wrapped an arm protectively around her shoulders and held her. Slowly her shoulders began to quiver and shake. Frowning, he continued to hold her while she cried.  
  
don't pretend to hold it in just let it out  
don't pretend to hold it in just push it out  
don't you try to hold it in just let it out and  
don't you try to hold it in you hold it in  
  
It seemed like hours to Logan before she stopped crying, it was actually only about thirty minutes though. He let her rest for a few minutes, then nudged her gently, "Come on, Rogue. Why don't we see about headin' home."  
  
She nodded and he helped her stand up. Her legs felt wobbling underneath her and she stumbled when she tried to walk. Gently, Logan helped her walk through the brush and to the jeep he had driven in search of her.  
  
He drove through the rest of the day and through the night, letting her sleep as he drove. In the misty hours of early dawn, they pulled into the driveway of the institute. Ororo, Jean, Scott and the Professor were at the steps of the entrance as Logan pulled up and stopped the car. Hopping out, he walked around and helped Rogue out. "Welcome home, kid." He said with a slight smile.  
  
She smiled weakly in response and then looked up at the others. Their faces were all sad, yet it wasn't the sadness of pity, it was pure sadness over the situation which had caused this, and worry for her. Slowly she climbed the stairs up to where they were, and looked each into the face. "Ah.ah'm sorry." She stammered, her voice cracking and on the verge of tears.  
  
Her knees went weak and she started to collapse right there, as Jean quickly moved to her with arms open wide and wrapped her in a warm embrace. "It's ok.you're home.that's all that matters."  
  
once upon a year gone by  
she saw herself give in  
every time she closed her eyes  
she saw what could have been  
  
09/03/03 - D.M.H. 


End file.
